Daughters of Titans

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Chapter Fourteen: Room

Personal Boundaries

"Uh... hi, Ginnn," a much cleaner me said.  I'd been torn between rushing my shower and taking my time.  On balance I had finished a little quicker than usual, knowing it would be better to avoid keeping Ginnn waiting and seeming that I was trying to avoid heem further.

Ginnn had been leaning against an artificial stone wall, standing in a pool of orangey illumination.  He lowered he's scryer and stepped away from the wall.  For a few seconds he made me wait.  The only sound was the gentle humming of the magelight on the hallway's ceiling.  He was wearing casual robes instead of he's usual teaching garb, and a black Shadow Runners branded cap covered he's distinctive purple braids.  "Drift.  In case you didn't read my scrymail to you over two weeks ago, congratulations on the win."  Ginnn sounded annoyed, but the congratulation was genuine.  I knew he really meant it.  The wording of he's scrymail had been clear on that too.

"Thanks.  Um, I did see that message, but...  Sorry, I should have replied."

"You also should have attended my lectures."

"I just... have a lot to prepare.  For the big match.  And it didn't seem like the best use of my time, because I already understand the material."  Most of all, I wanted to avoid a confrontation like the one we were having.  I didn't trust myself not to say something gravely insulting.

"And you didn't think I would have some useful advice for you, or would simply want to talk with my student about your amazing accomplishment and rare opportunity?" Ginnn chided.

"Um, when you put it that way...  I'm sorry, I didn't give it much thought."  It was true that I hadn't thought about any positive reasons why Ginnn would want to talk to me, or any way that he might be able to assist me with the daunting championship match.

"There's clearly a lot of things that you haven't given enough thought to.  You need to do that, because a lot of eyes and ears are on you right now.  You can't make a mistake.  Everything you say and do matters.  You're not just representing Wonambi out there.  You're representing hexmages, and the Sixth Way Academy."

I tried to parse all that and figure out what Ginnn was getting at.  There were a lot of pieces to put together but I had some idea of the picture they were forming.  "Since you're my teacher, I'm representing you, right?"

"Yes, you see it!  I knew you'd understand if you took the time to properly think."

"I know you must be disappointed that the Mighty Honks didn't take the win.  That you don't get to be in my place."  I remembered just in time that I needed to force a hint of respect into my voice.

"So you understand why it's so important that I ensure you're as ready as you can be for the match.  If I don't and you perform poorly, that will reflect badly on me and on the academy."

"Alright, alright, I get it.  What great wisdom can you pass on to me to increase my chance of victory over the top team of each other hive?"  I didn't try hard enough to keep the bite out of my tone.

"No one likes a gloater, Drift."

I checked whether my shoes were properly buckled.  "Sorry.  This is why I avoided you," I admitted.

"I see.  If you want to keep a good reputation you'll need to learn to do better."

"Yeah, I...  I see that."  I thought of asking if Ginnn still wanted to give me any advice, or perhaps saying that I didn't really deserve it.  Instead, I decided it would be best to say nothing.

Ginnn said nothing.  He seemed to be waiting for something.

"Um."  I realised I should appeal to Ginnn as a student to a teacher.  "What are the most important lessons you learned playing chroma?  And how did you fit in teaching and practicing with the Mighty Honks?"

"I couldn't always practice with the team, so I had to rely on written feedback about how my hexes performed.  You're well aware that hexmages tend to be more passive team members during games.  A hexmage might command he's mascot, but can't do any actual hexing in such a short timescale."

I nodded as if I agreed.  "Sure, but how did you have time to test and grade all our assignments and work on hexes for the team?"

"Er, through some rather complex multitasking.  I'd rather not get into that, since you don't seem to have any trouble in that area.  As for the important lessons...  I've found that it's best to stay in the background.  Be subtle regarding your hexes and the capabilities of your team's mascot.  That way, you can surprise your opponents."

That seemed sensible, but I gave it some careful thought before responding.  "Come to think of it, I don't even remember what the Mighty Honks' mascot is.  That's... devious!  Uh, in a good way."  I added the last part in a hurry, hoping Ginnn hadn't taken it as an insult.  "I think I'm doing alright in that regard.  My mascot was pretty small, and my plan for the championship game is completely different.  Well, almost.  It's a different approach to a similar end.  My opponents can't do much unless they have some way to defend against direct override of thall's mascots' aetherloops and hardbrain segments."

"Hmm, interesting.  What if someone tried that to your mascot or gear?  Do you have any idea how you might prevent it?"

"Ooh, that's a very good question, Ginnn!  Thanks, I should really look into that.  I'm already having ideas."

"Consider that a head start on your next class assignment.  I'm planning to set it at the end of the week but you may want to get started now to be sure it's finished before the match.  You'll probably be busy celebrating after."

"Thanks, Ginnn.  I knew you were my favourite teacher for a reason.  Any more wisdom to pass on?"

"I have a few more thoughts, but I think we both have places to be soon."

"Oh!  Of course.  Sorry, I wasn't thinking about the time.  I'll try to make your next lecture, yeah?"

"I'm glad to hear it.  Try to pay attention this time."

That was doubtful.  "Mmhmm.  See you then."

Disengaging from the conversation proved awkward, as we both turned to leave in the same direction.  After exchanging bemused glances, my teacher shrugged and gestured for me to go ahead.


Worn out from chroma practice, I took an aetherscooter back home.  All I had to do was enter my destination through my scryer and hold on.  I barely paid attention to my surroundings throughout the trip, except to occasionally confirm that I was headed the right way.  Magic hadn't betrayed me yet, but if it ever started I wouldn't let it be easy.

When I opened the front door, my nose was attacked by a novel combination of scents.  It was Slink She's turn to cook.  She's method was by trial and error.  I hoped there wouldn't be too much error tonight.

"Swipe kept you for a while," Broth commented from the couch.  Ra was reading something on ra's scryer.

I closed the door behind me.  Liberty leapt off my shoulder and glided away to some other part of the house to take care of assorted domestic duties.  "Not as long as you'd think.  I ran right into Ginnn He."

Broth scratched behind ra's ear, which ra often did when perplexed.  "From the Honks?  Why would he be around the field today?"

"Ginnn's also one of my teachers at the academy.  Didn't I mention that?  I thought I mentioned that."

"You probably did.  Must have slipped my mind.  Wow, so you beat your teacher at chroma!  Well done.  Although...  Hmm, I don't remember a single thing Ginnn did in the entire match."

Neither did I.  "I'm sure he was doing something but he can't have been in the main action.  The commentators never mentioned heem during the game.  Hey, is Skids around?"

"Yeah, in sa's room, avoiding the... cooking."

"Thanks.  Hey Slink, how long do we have?"

"No one can truly know.  And it may be that we never truly die, but live on as—"

"Until food's ready," I clarified before she could go any further along that tangent.

"Twenty minutes, not including serving time."

"Thanks, Slink.  Ooh, is that calamari?"

"Indeed it is, Drift.  I have a theory that—"

"I'll find out later, sorry.  I have to talk to Skids."  I didn't mind discussing food with Slink, but I couldn't let that be an excuse to put off talking with Skids any further.

"True.  The breakdown of communication between you two since yall's latest chroma match has been distressing to observe."

"Um.  Sure.  Bye for now."  I rapidly exited the scene and knocked on Skids' door down the hall.  Slink's and my bedrooms were further from the living spaces, while Broth and Skids' were closer.  The bathroom and laundry room were closer still.

"Whosit?" Skids asked through the door.

"Charity."

"Not Drift?"

"That's the issue, isn't it?"

"You'd better come in."

A burst of minor magic pushed the door open.  I braced my eye against the extreme clash of colours with which Skids had decorated.  Skids was lying back lazily on sa's bed with sa's knees in the air to prop up sa's scryer.  Sa patted the bed beside sarm.  I sat down carefully to avoid bouncing sarm and disturbing sa's scryer.

"Reading up on Dead Drop?" I guessed.  It was a comfortable starting point.

"Yeah.  There's a lot of buzz.  People are already predicting which of us is most likely to be forced into retirement by severe injury after Rainbow Rage."

"Us as in the team, or us as in us?"

"The team, but you and I are popular picks.  The more fanatic chroma enthusiasts have been scrutinising your actions at the end of the last game and are arguing over whether you were controlling the octoling."

"So that secret's out."  That was not preferable but it had been close to inevitable.

"Yeah, so you're a major target for... physical disablement tactics."  Skids hadn't looked away from sa's scryer yet.

"As are you.  But Scaff's doing a good job of reinforcing our armour without adding too much extra mass."  I was still circling the topic I intended to discuss, but was slowly getting closer to it.

"Good, good."

"And, uh, I'm working on improvements to my threat detection and evasion hexes."

"Mm."

I was running out of steam trying to carry the conversation this last leg myself, so I blurted out the last part before I seized up completely.  "So I think we should all have our armour prioritise the occupant above scoring."

Skids sat up, put sa's scryer down, and turned to face me.  Sa stared directly into my eye with a seriousness that meant more to me than the respect commanded by all my academy teachers combined.  "I make my own choices about my own armour and what damage I can accept.  I will have it respond to my reflexes when I want it to.  You can do what you like with your own armour, but mine must respond only to me.  No more interference from you, whether accidental or intentional.  Got it?"

I didn't gulp.  Somehow, in a moment of extreme self control, I kept myself from flinching.  "Got it.  But don't you think the risks warrant—"

"I'll decide what the risks to me warrant, Drift.  Put all the safety features in that you dream up, and show me how they work, but I and only I can decide when I use them."

This was going nowhere, but at least it wasn't silence and polite minimalism.  "I don't want you to end up like me!  We're not fighting for thousands of lives this time.  Bragging rights aren't worth a limb."

"I know that!  You can stop thinking I'll do something stupid, alright?  Trust me to look after myself.  I'm not one of your little sisters you had to look out for, yeah?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, suddenly finding the pattern of glowing shapes on my friend's ceiling very fascinating.  "I'm sorry, I'm no good at letting family take risks.  I still don't know how I changed the safety mode on your armour during that penalty shot, but I know I wanted to, and it was technically possible to do from my scryer, even though I never consciously commanded it to do that.  But I'll make sure I don't have that access so it can't happen again."

"Making magic happen unconsciously seems to be a recurring thing for you," Skids noted, sounding much more relaxed now that the disagreement had been aired and somewhat settled.

"Yeah.  At least I haven't been hearing voices.  Or beeps.  Not in a long time."

"Have you tried to do that?*

I fixed Skids with the look of utmost disbelief that suggestion deserved.  "Try to hear voices?"

Skids shrugged as if that had been a reasonable suggestion.  "Maybe the Titans can help figure out what's up with you.  It might even be necessary before they can give you any 'upgrades'.

"If I can afford any."

"I guess we'll find out after the match.  Let's hope no one needs any more bits replaced."

"Hope, and pray to the Great Maker."

"You still do that?  Does it help?"

"Ehh...  Not as often as I'm meant to.  With no one else to remind me, sometimes it slips from my schedule."  I'd been good at remembering for the first few months, but the practice had grown hollow and cumbersome.  "I don't really know if it helps.  I have to believe the Great Maker still listens and cares.  Even though I'm... down here.  Even though I was taught that being out of the protection of my father and the clerics would expose me to danger and judgement."  I tapped my fingers on the end of my stump.  "I've received judgements for rebellion twice so far, but the messenger Skögul brought me here, so the Great Maker must want me here instead of up there.  So it's really difficult knowing what to do without any authority over me.  It wasn't meant to be like this.  I should have a husband by now."

Skids rolled sa's eyes.  "It seems pretty messed up that your 'Great Maker' would do that to you intentionally when you were only trying to help people the whole time.  That doesn't seem like someone you should rely on for help."

"I had a rebellious attitude and sought after forbidden knowledge."

"Right, the mathematics books that were only meant for your brothers.  I still don't really understand why knowledge was forbidden to just some people, or why it's such a big deal.  A seer or even a drone can learn about conjuring or hexmagery if they want to.  Not a lot do, but it's not forbidden.  Nothing is, unless the Over Seer deems it unsafe."

"Oh, what kinds of things are unsafe?" I quickly asked.  That seemed like a more interesting question than whether prayer to the Great Maker worked or was advisable.

"Heh, of course you'd ask that.  Let's see... stuff like extremely powerful energy sources, demon manufacture — as if anyone would be so utterly unhinged — and extreme brain stuff.  And of course the Think Tank and the growth pods.  We really don't want to mess with anything that could endanger the future of all mages."

"Yeah...  That would be really bad.  Um.  So there's something I've been meaning to ask you about."

"Oh?  What's that?"

"Why did you tell Punnt I'd be part of the team before I was close to agreeing to?  Since we're on the topic of personal boundaries and making our own choices."

"Oh, that."

"Yes.  That."

"Um...  I really hoped I'd turn out to be right?"

I shook my head at Skids' typical antics.  "Of course you did.  You really need to form a closer acquaintance with the actual truth.  That could make it a bit easier to trust you to look after myself."

"Hey, you can for sure trust me to do what's best for the team."

I sighed a short frustrated sigh.  "That's exactly what worries me.  Failing the team hurts your reputation.  But risking yourself could hurt your body."

Skids pointed directly at my glass eye.  "Bodies can be fixed."

"And a reputation as someone who will go to extreme lengths for a point in a chroma game can't be worth that," I said earnestly, hoping that would settle the matter.  I prayed a bit too.

"Down here, it might be to some people."

"Well I'm not one of those people.  Got it?"

"Got it.  So, how long do we have before Slink's latest concoction is ready for consumption?"

I checked the time on my scryer.  "We've still got a few minutes."  I'd covered the critical conversation topics with time to spare.  Now I had a few minutes with nothing particular that needed doing.  I still felt uncomfortable at such times.  That wasn't how the Wilison family had operated.

"Great, I was hoping you could take a look at something for me.  Something I've been working on for a while."

That sounded promising.  "Oh?"

"Yeah I've been talking with a couple of conjurers about new clothing designs.  Based on stuff I've seen in my 'adventures', yeah?"

"Oh, you mean...?"

"That's right, dresses!"

I grinned.  This would be fun.


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